The Reason Why
by ALH21
Summary: "How'd she die?" A girl asked. "Suicide" I replied. The girl laughed "I tried that. it didnt work." "Who are you?" The girl stepped out from under the tree. Hanna's face, that's all I saw. Rated M for language and some gorey details. ON HOLD
1. Chapter 1

**First thing you should know, I do not own Thirteen R3asons Why. I do not own any of the characters from the book, but I do own the name of Hailey Baker. She is a character I made up and later on you will find out her role in all of this. I have just finished reading Thirteen R3asons Why and had the idea for this in my head. So I hope you enjoy. Remember to review.**

Prologue

I was standing at Hanna's grave in her hometown. I laid down the roses I got and stared at the tombstone. It had been months since I listened to the tapes. It was summer now and school was going to start in a few days. The others and I knew that Mr. Porter still had the tapes. We were waiting for what was next.

After I listened to the tapes and I started spiraling into a depression my parents had me see a grieving counselor. It was working. My counselor told me that visiting Hanna's grave and 'talking' to her would help.

So here I go.

"Hanna…" I paused. "Why didn't you just tell me? I could've help you."

I stayed quiet and stared at the roses.

"How'd she die?" A very familiar voice asked.

"Who's there?" I asked back.

A laugh came from the shadow of a tree nearby. "Wouldn't you like to know. So, how did she die?"

"Suicide."

"How?"

"She took pills."

The girl in the shadows laughed. "I tried that. It didn't work for me."

"Who are you?"

The girl stepped out from under the tree. Hanna's face, that's all I saw.

"I'm Hailey. Hanna's cousin." the girl said. "Your Clay."

"How do you know?"

"Hanna."

"What did she tell you?"

Hailey smiled. "Wouldn't you like to know?" then she walked away.

Chapter 1

Hailey's POV

I stood there watching as the teacher Mr. Porter put the last tape into the box. He was the last one. The last one to listen to the thirteen reasons why. His class hadn't started yet. I watched him look at the tapes in the box with a sad look, then up at the desk that was always empty. Well, it would be empty until today.

I was to collect the tapes from him and he must have knew it. I walked into the class room as he turned toward the board. The other students were still outside, hanging out and talking.

I cleared my throat and Mr. Porter turned.

"Can I help you?" He asked bewildered.

"I'm the new student here. Hailey Baker." I told him.

Mr. Porter cleared his throat. "Ah, yes." He grabbed a folder and put a few things in it then he grabbed one of the class books. "Here is what we are currently working on in the class and you can sit right there." He pointed to the desk, the one no one sat in anymore.

"Thank you." I took the folder and book and sat at the desk, rummaging through my bag.

"Are you related to Hanna Baker?" Mr. Porter asked.

My head snapped up. "Yes I am. She is… was my cousin. I'm living with her parents after mine had passed away a few months ago."

"I'm sorry for your lose."

I nodded my head as the bell rang and other students began piling in. I watched as students walked in and sat down. None of them noticed me. That's when _he _walked in. The boy from the cemetery. His head was down and he headed straight for his seat.

When the final bell rang Mr. Porter started the class.

"Class, we have a new student today. Her name is Hailey Baker." Mr. Porter announced and everyone turned to me and gasped.

I smiled. _This is going to be fun…_

Clay's POV

I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked toward the new girl with the rest of the class. It was the girl from the cemetery. Hanna's cousin. She looked just like Hanna. She had to same color hair and eyes. Black hair, blue eyes. I thought it was Hanna the first time I saw her. She looked just like her. They could have been twins. The girl, Hailey Baker, smiled at the class and murmured a hello.

"Why don't you introduce yourself, Hailey?" Mr. Porter said.

"That's not necessary." Hailey told him.

My mouth was hanging open. The guys around me were staring too. Everyone was. She even sounded like Hanna. I remembered that too.

Mr. Porter stared at Hailey so she sighed and stood.

"I'm Hailey Baker. Hanna Baker's cousin." everyone in the room flinched at the mention of Hanna. My eyes stung. "I know that all of you are having a hard time dealing with her… her death and I know my being here isn't going to make it easier. My parents died a few months ago so I'm living with Hanna's parents. I know I look like her and I'm sorry if it's causing some bad memories." Hailey sat back down and Mr. Porter began to speak.

I didn't hear anything he was saying. I was focused on Hailey. Did she know about the tapes? Did she know why Hanna did it?

Hailey glanced back and saw me looking. I turned away.

When class ended I got out as fast as I could, hoping to get far away from word of Hailey, but everywhere I went they were talking.

I was at my locker when she approached me.

"Clay Jensen." Hailey said in Hanna's voice.

"Hello, Hailey." I turned to her.

"How are you, lover boy?" Hailey laughed. She seemed more bold than Hanna ever was. She seemed different than Hanna, but they looked and sounded the same.

"I'm fine." I glanced down and noticed a box tucked under Hailey's arm. "What's that?"

"The tapes." Hailey whispered. "Mr. Porter gave me them."

"Are you going to listen to them?" I asked worried.

"I'm not on the list. Besides I already have. Tony came by the other day and dropped off the second copy."

"So you know? Everything?"

Hailey looked down. "Yeah I do. And I know she really is sorry."

I nodded.

Hailey turned to walk away but then she looked at me. "Feel free to stop by anytime."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Hailey's POV

It was a month later and I was sitting at home doing my homework at my desk when the door bell rang. I figured that my aunt could get it because I didn't feel like getting up. She wasn't really my aunt. She was really my mom. I had found out shortly after Hanna's suicide that her mother was my mother. Hanna and I were identical twins. Our mother and father couldn't handle taking care of two children so they gave me to my aunt and uncle (the two people I would grow up to call mom and dad). I guess my life was a little messed up.

"Hailey?" My aunt, mom, whatever you want to refer to her as, said.

I looked at her. I knew my gaze had a little bit of resentment in it. I was upset with her for leaving me when I was a baby. "Yeah?"

"The door's for you." She replied.

"Just tell them to come in." I told her and turned back to my homework.

My bedroom door closed then opened again a few minutes later. I glanced toward the door. My jaw dropped and I dropped my pen. Standing in the doorway to my room was Clay Jensen, the boy my sister was head over heals for. His jeans were hanging low on his hips and he was wearing a white wife beater along with converse. He had his backpack slung over his shoulder.

"You said to stop by anytime so…" Clay stood in the doorway nervously. He was looking around my room, Hanna's old room.

"Yeah, uh, make yourself at home." I said looking away. I could feel my face burning. Hanna and I had one thing in common besides our hair and eyes, we had the same taste in boys. Clay was just one example of it. He was good looking and had a well defined body that he always tried to hide. "Can I get you anything? Something to drink?" I asked as he sauntered over to my bed and plopped down.

Clay shook his head and continued to look around the room.

"Don't tell me you're going to get all shy on me." I said jokingly.

Clay looked at me. "Sorry. I've just never been in this house before."

"It's cool. Hanna never had many people come over here. She never had many friends." I replied nonchalantly.

"How can you do that?" Clay's tone was sharp.

I cocked my head to the side. "Do what?"

"Talk about Hanna like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like her death doesn't even matter."

I laughed non humorously. "Her death does matter to me. I just learned to cope and move on. I don't know if you've noticed but I'm not exactly happy with what Hanna did." I stood up and walked over to my dresser and grabbed a picture frame. "Hanna didn't just kill herself that day. She killed apart of me. She was my sister." I handed him the picture.

It was a picture of Hanna and me as babies. We were in the little basinet things at the hospital with our mother and father standing next to them. The caption under the picture said 'Hanna and Hailey Baker born February 15th to parents Jim and Leyla Baker.'

"Twins?" Clay asked looking at the picture.

"Identical twins." I answered. "That's why we look alike. Same hair and eyes. Facial features even."

"And voice." Clay said.

I shook my head. "Mine's higher, but I can mimic what her voice was like."

Clay handed the picture back and looked at the ground. "Why did she do it?" He asked in a small voice.

"She told you why."

"Thirteen reasons."

"A baker's dozen."

Clay laughed. "You know that night I spent with her was quite possibly the best night of my life."

"Her's too." I sat next to him on my bed. "Why are you here Clay?"

"I have questions I'm hoping you can answer."

"Shoot."

Clay's POV

I was sitting crossed legged on Hailey's bed facing her. She was sitting across from me with one leg pulled up to her chest and the other tucked under her. We were talking about Hanna. Somewhere during the time we were talking Hailey pulled off her hooded sweatshirt, reveling a tight blue cami that reveled her midriff and the top of her… uh, chest. It was kind of hard not to stare. Hanna hadn't been as busty as Hailey. Hanna and Hailey may have been identical twins but they were different personality wise and for some physical aspects. Hanna never dressed as reveling as Hailey. Hanna's clothes were baggy whereas Hailey's clothes were tight and left little to imagine. I'm not saying she dresses like a slut, I'm just saying she knows how to show the good assets that she has.

"What's up, Clay?" Hailey asked causing me to look up at her eyes instead of her… chest.

"Nothing." I replied.

Hailey smiled. "You sure?"

I nodded.

She rolled her eyes and laid on her side.

"Why did Hanna let Bryce, you know…"

"Finger her?"

I nodded again.

"You know you can say the word. You're like what, 18?"

"Yeah. So why did she let him… finger her?"

Hailey sighed and played with her comforter. "Because she stopped caring what people did to her or what happened to her. Sometimes I wondered why she didn't just have sex with him. I mean she was planning to kill herself. What's the point of dying a virgin?" Hailey looked up at me then. "You know what I mean?"

"Yeah. I guess I can see what you mean. If today was your last day would you lose your virginity?"

Hailey looked at me and sighed. She laid on her back and stretched, arching her back off the bed before she turned to me again. "I already lost it." She admitted sadly.

"When?" I asked laying on my side also.

"I was 15" she replied.

"Why so soon?"

"Raped."

I was quiet because I was shocked. "I'm sorry." I said.

"It's cool. I got over it. What about you?"

"Still intact."

"Oh." Hailey rolled onto her stomach and turned her head toward me. "How do you feel about that?"

"I could care less."

"What about your buddies?"

"They're just a bunch of fucking pricks."

Hailey gasped. "Oh my god. He actually swore." She exclaimed.

I laughed and she joined me. Then we got silent.

"I should've stayed that night. I shouldn't have listened to her and left. She might still be here." I laid on my back and stared at the stars on the ceiling.

"You know, she called me the night she did it." Hailey sighed. "Right before she did it she called me and told me what she was going to do, how she was going to do it and she told me about the tapes."

I looked at her.

"I told her not to do it. I tried to talk her out of it, but no. That damn bitch didn't listen to me." Hailey whispered. Her anger was in her tone.

"You shouldn't call her that."

Hailey looked at me. "I'm angry with her."

"I understand that. But now isn't the time to be angry."

"Dude, you sound like my damn therapist." Hailey laughed.

I looked at her shocked. "You have a therapist?"

"Uh, yeah."

"How come?"

"Because I got raped, then I tried to kill myself and now because the people that raised me are dead and so is my sister."

I nodded my head letting her know I got it.

"And the thing that's irritating is the damn shrink sits there and is like 'what I'm hearing you say is' and they repeat everything I just said. It's like 'no shit dude I just said that.' Oh and she even goes 'how do you feel about that.' sometimes I just want to smack her." Hailey told me. She looked irritated.

I laughed at what she said. She looked at me and smiled. "It doesn't sound that bad." I told her.

"It is especially if you are a girl and just want to stand around with friends at the mall and check out hot guys."

"Hot guys? What's your definition of hot?"

Hailey smiled. "Put it this way, my sister was one lucky bitch to have made out with you. You, my friend, are a hottie."

I could feel my face turning red. "That's doubtful."

"You're only saying that because I embarrassed you with my bluntness and you don't have any girls here trying to bang you. But if you stepped one foot in my old school, girls would be begging you to fuck them."

I turned even redder. "You're not so bad yourself. I heard the guys talking about you today."

"That's probably because I'm like practically Hanna's ghost."

"Maybe you're right." I sighed.

Hailey leaned over me slightly so her face was even with mine. "I want to show you something." then she rolled of the bed and grabbed something out from under it. I stayed where I was and watched her. She held up a tape.

I shot up. "Where did you get that?" I asked her.

"It's from Hanna. She mailed it to me before she killed herself." Hailey said handing it to me.

On the tape in red marker said 'Hailey'

"Are we going to listen to it?" I asked.

"Do you want to?" Hailey fired back. "I already listen to it."

"Sure."

Hailey grabbed a radio and set it on her nightstand. Then she laid on her stomach on the bed and put the tape in. I followed her and kicked off my shoes. Then the tape started.

_Hailey, Hailey, Hailey. What am I going to do with you sis? We may be twins but we are complete opposites. You stronger than me. More willing. That's what makes you so much fun. You're so care free and you're the only person I could ever truly confide in. That's why I'm going to tell you something. I made thirteen tapes. Two sets of thirteen tapes actually. I gave one set to a friend. His name is Tony. He knows Clay. I left him instructions. The other set I gave to the first person on my list. _

_Hailey, I made a list and the tapes because… well you won't hear from me again. I'm going to take my life. I know, I know. It's wrong. I know what you're thinking and how much you're going to hate me. But Hails, please understand it was the only way for this to stop. For this to end. The pain is too much. I feel so alone all the time. I need to do this. So please forgive me. I'm so sorry._

"Stop the tape." I said sitting up.

Hailey stopped it and looked at me. I was shaking, badly.

Hailey sat up and grabbed my hands. "Clay, calm down. It's okay."

I clenched my jaw and slowly the shaking stopped. I looked up and met Hailey's eyes. "I'm okay. You can play it again." she looked at my unsure. "I'll be fine."

Hailey laid back down and pressed play. I stayed sitting and listened.

_I'm only going to ask this once Hails, so please do it for me. Please. _

_There's that boy I told you about. Clay Jensen. I need you to keep an eye on him. Keep him from doing anything stupid. Help him, Hails. Help him the only way you know how._

I looked at Hailey to see her looking at me.

_Help him find love. He'll need it, because if he really did have feelings for me like you say he did, because he kissed me and all that jazz, then he's going to be upset when he gets the tapes. He's going to be upset when he hears I'm dead. _

I don't know how it happened or why. But when Hanna said that last sentence I was crying and Hailey was holding me. Then soon after I was kissing her. I was kissing Hailey and she was kissing me back.

_I don't care how you do it Hailey, or how you even get to mom and dads, but just help him find love. Fuck, I don't even care if you fall in love with him in the process of helping him. Just do it, Hailey. You're the only one that can help him. _

_You were always the strongest one, Hailey. Through everything life handed you, you fought back. You're better than me in that way. You always hold your head high. I love you, Hailey. You're my sister and I will always love you. I want you to be happy. Keep it together girlie. So I guess this is goodbye._

_Oh, and Hailey? When or if you meet Clay, tell him I'm sorry. _

The tape ended. All that was left was static and then the click symbolizing it was over. But I kept kissing Hailey. She was laying under me. Her arms around my neck, one leg between mine and the other bend so her knee was touching my hip. I had one hand on her face, and the other on her hip. I was moving my hand up her bent leg to her knee when she pulled away. I rested my forehead against hers and breathed heavily.

"That… should… not… have happened." Hailey forced out through gasps.

"Why?" I said as softly as I could.

"Because you love Hanna and I'm not Hanna. I may look like her but I'm not her." Hailey said trying to push me away.

I stared at her but stayed where I was.

"Clay get off of me." Hailey said.

I shook my head and kissed her again. I was trying to prove something to myself and her. She didn't respond right away. She just sat there frozen but then I started to feel her lips move with mine. I kissed her roughly, hungrily and angrily. My tongue slipped into her mouth and explored every inch. Hailey moaned into my mouth and arched her back off the bed. I slid my hands around her waist and held her closer to my body.

I pulled away and stared at Hailey. She looked up at me confused.

"I know you're not Hanna. You two may be identical but that doesn't matter when it comes to everything else. You kiss differently than her. Your body is slimmer and your curves stick out more. You dress differently than her and your eyes are different than hers. Her eyes were a pure blue and never changed colors but yours do. They have green swirling in them." I pulled her closer to me. "I know you aren't Hanna and I love that."

Hailey's eyes closed. When she opened them again she shoved against me and flipped us over so she was on top of me straddling me. She placed her hands on my chest. "You don't get it Clay. Hanna was my sister." Then she got off of me and walked around her room. "I'm not going to take the guy that Hanna loved. If she was still alive you would be with her right now. I wouldn't even matter to you."

"But she is dead."

"Exactly and I'm not going to do what Hanna said on that tape. I'm not going to help you find love again, Clay. Not if it means I could fall for you in the process. Not when part of your heart will always belong to Hanna." Hailey stated.

"Hailey…"

"Clay, don't kiss me and tell me things if you're not ready to move on. So if you're positive…"

"I'm positive, Hailey. I know Hanna's gone. I know that you aren't like her. I know she was your sister. But I want to try this. For the past month I've wanted to talk to you and try to tell you that I like you." I sighed. "Just give me a chance, Hailey. We'll never know if I can move on if I don't try."

Hailey sighed and ran her hands though her hair in a frustrated manner. Then she looked me in the eye. "Clay…"

Just then her bedroom door opened…

**Ah, I know it took me awhile to the new chapter up, but I've seriously been busy. I will try to get the new chapters for A Werewolf's Heart and The Uley Girls up as soon as I can. I just have to do some editing and add a few more details. Anyway, remember to review and let me know what you think. If anything about this story confuses you or you just have questions feel free to ask and I'll answer. **


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